[Public, Because He's Not Thinking of Locks Right Now]

[clockwork_doc]

(OOC: This follows off from this thread. So backdated like whoa.)

[The following is written VERY sloppily and is very watermarked – still readable, but barely]

I -- I --

oh God

I don’t know what's real anymore, is any of this real or am I still there

I want this to be real i don't want to be there i dont' want any more operations

great scott i'm so scared

be real, please be real i don't care how insane you are chicago be real

oh God get out of my head GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!

Comments

[cookiesandhugs.livejournal.com]

Darling, darling, calm down, calm down, I'm real, you're real, it will be fine.

And as bonkers as this city is, it is REAL. Trust me on that. The pain and the hope and the love and the mess, it's all as real as can be. It is real.

You're in Chicago. It's a messy place, but right now...

It's home.

[clockwork-doc.livejournal.com]

how can i be sure

hallucinated before because of his pets -- things -- whatever. wouldn't put it past him to drug me up again just to see what happens

what if they're hurting Marty and I can't help him?? he needs me i need him mein sohn

[cookiesandhugs.livejournal.com]

Why would he give you nice things? You have friends here, you have... a family. Happiness is one of the simplest emotions in the broad spectrum- probably the simplest. He has nothing to gain by giving you nice things. Besides, you don't just HALLUCINATE a life. Which is what you have here.

I can't tell you what happened to Marty. I don't know. But I do know FOR A FACT that I am not a hallucination. Don't ask me how. I just KNOW. And DAMMIT, Doc, you're not a hallucination either. We're here for a reason, I just know it. You have to stay here and figure out what that reason is.

Stay with me.

[clockwork-doc.livejournal.com]

YES he does. "The Seeker of All Knowledge" -- he hasn't seen me happy in ages, maybe he was curious

You don't know them. They can do ANYTHING. ANYTHING. He ripped out my heart and replaced it with a steam engine and I WAS STILL CONSCIOUS for most of it

don't want to be this want to go home

[cookiesandhugs.livejournal.com]

THINK, DOC. You are by no means a stupid man. This is YOUR REALITY, just as it's MY reality and EVERYONE ELSE'S REALITY. It's occasionally a very shitty hellhole, it's occasionally a great sucking vortex of pain, but it's REAL. I'M REAL, YOU'RE REAL, AND IT'S WHAT WE'VE GOT TO WORK WITH.

Make the best of it. Don't live in fear- if he wants to give you happy things, TAKE THEM AND RUN.

You can do it. I know you can. I believe in you.

[clockwork-doc.livejournal.com]

I just

just so scared

but I'm good at running. running I can do.

[cookiesandhugs.livejournal.com]

I understand. This whole damn CITY is scary. But you'll be okay.

I promise.

[the-vesmier.livejournal.com]

I can assure you that the city of Chicago is real. If you're writing on these channels, you must be here as well.

I don't believe that we've been previously introduced, but I have some basic training as a psychic engineer. If you're worried that you might be under the influence of a psychic, I could attempt assistance.

[clockwork-doc.livejournal.com]

I'dreallypreferyounotto sickofpeoplerootingthroughmyhead whatifIlosemymemoriesagain

[the-vesmier.livejournal.com]

Of course. Perfectly understandable. If you would prefer me not to see you, I certainly won't.

If at some point you would like to speak with me, I'm generally available over the journals.

[clockwork-doc.livejournal.com]

thank you

I'll -- keep that in mind.

[clanoftheswords.livejournal.com]

Doc?

Doc, what the hell happened?

[clockwork-doc.livejournal.com]

somebody saw Andrew, said he was

had to run, had to get away

barely know which way is up anymore

don't want to be back there, want to be FREE

[clanoftheswords.livejournal.com]

Andrew?

Oh fu [The entry just stops here]

(OOC: Hoo boy...)

[thecellsiam.livejournal.com]

I...I don't know how long ago this was written, but are you okay? Well, from the entry, no, but -- anything I can do, anything like that?

[clockwork-doc.livejournal.com]

I'm a little better now. I just -- had a run-in with someone who apparently saw Andrew standing behind me, and -- I panicked, I guess. Thought for a while that I was hallucinating all of this, that I was back in Arcadia. . . .

I think I understand better what you meant that one day when you said you were worried this place wasn't real. I'd had my own fears on the subject, but I hadn't -- contemplated them like that. I think I

Honestly, just knowing you're around and real makes me feel better. Though if you want to schedule another visit in the future (maybe for time-machine related purposes?). . . . Speaking of which, are you okay, then? I know our get-getogether ended up being something of a clusterfuck, if you'll excuse my language.